Đánh Giá Batman Vs Superman

A spoiler-packed guide to lớn all that’s off about the superhero clash, from Lex Luthor as a malfunctioning apk to Bruce Wayne’s fickle take on demolition

This piece contains spoilers for Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice. Don’t read it unless you’ve sầu seen the film or don’t care about spoilers

Like a big, wet glob of fetid bird droppings tumbling down from the sky, Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice has landed with an audible splat. It’s been almost three years since director Zack Snyder revealed the project at San Diego Comic-Con and in those years, the multimillion-dollar hype machine has been slowed only periodically by rumblings that something was amiss with the film. Amid splashy trailer releases & return trips to lớn Comic-Con there’s been a steady drumbeat of skepticism in the background. How bad could it be? Well, it turns out, pretty bad.

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Where does Batman v Superman's mauling leave sầu Warner's plan for a DC comics cinematic universe?

Despite the 30% Rotten Tomatoes score, you probably rushed out và gobbled up this picture with the reckless abandon of DJ Khaled confronted with a horse trough full of fried chicken. You – the hypothetical reader whom I am very certain is terribly attractive, very intelligent, và wise beyond your years – probably want someone khổng lồ explain what it is you just witnessed. I would like to offer up my expertise không lấy phí of charge so that you might better understand the many layers of this motion picture event. I warn you now that this is a spoiler-heavy article, so if you haven’t seen the film & want to remain untainted, please cliông chồng away immediately. I won’t mind. I mean, you’ve already clicked on it anyway, so cha-ching.

‘I can’t bởi all the grinning và bearing by myself, Ben’: Henry Cavill và Ben Afflechồng. Photograph: Dave sầu J Hogan/Getty ImagesThe film opens with one of many dream sequences. Let me just say here early that Batman v Superman is mostly dream sequences, và those scenes that are not dreams still seem to lớn function as though the basic laws of reality vì not exist. Granted, this is a film about an alien và an alcoholic billionaire pervert throwing each other around in the rain while grimacing heavily. I should probably cut it some slachồng.

Anyway, Bruce Wayne dreams about his parents being gunned down in front of a movie theater. This is intercut with Bruce Wayne tumbling down a hole where he discovers a massive gathering of bats in a cave sầu. These bats swarm around hyên ổn, magically lifting him up and out of the hole while he strikes a Christ pose. In other words, we are off lớn a smashing start. After that, we witness Metropolis being wiped out by Superman & General Zod from the last movie. Superman destroys one of Bruce Wayne’s buildings by accident, which makes Wayne hate Superman. This is an important plot point. You see, Batman only approves of the destruction of private property when he’s the one doing the destroying. Later in the film, Batman tears through the city in his own personal tank, blows up some cars, shoots up a building with his Batwing, kills numerous anonymous henchmen, and lures a dangerous mutant back khổng lồ a populated area without a coherent plan khổng lồ defeat it. But he’s not an alien, so it’s OK. I should also mention that Bruce Wayne has a second dream about his dead parents in which blood pours out of his mother’s tomb, then explodes lớn reveal a detháng inside of it. I think maybe he has some unresolved issues.

Bruce Wayne is not alone in hating Superman. The United States government is none too pleased with the last son of Krypton leveling large parts of a major city. Lex Luthor, a wealthy businessman và scientist, also hates Superman. Now, you probably couldn’t quite figure out why Lex Luthor hated Superman so much. Unlượt thích Batman, he has no clear professional jealousy. In fact, in a brief aside, Luthor mentions the construction projects his company undertook after Superman wrecked Metropolis. If he had just kept his mouth shut and let Superman topple a few more buildings, he could have kept raking in the government contracts for decades to lớn come. Instead, he spends most of the movie trying khổng lồ get Batman and Superman to lớn fight, then creates a monster in a pool of brown toilet water for no reason. I thought this guy was some kindomain authority genius? It doesn’t make sense at first, but upon second viewing, it’s clear that Lex Luthor is actually a malfunctioning game android and his moronic behavior is due lớn his circuits being fried. Every bizarre character choice can be chalked up lớn what I lượt thích khổng lồ gọi the “Android Defense”. Something happened in Batman v Superman that doesn’t make any sense? It was probably done by a secretly malfunctioning robot.

Sorry, got a bit off trachồng here. Batman has another dream, where Superman has become a fascist dictator with his own army of stormtroopers. Batman is a lone freedom fighter rebelling against Superman’s iron rule. At the kết thúc of the dream, Superman punches a hole in Batman’s chest. Batman wakes up và sees The Flash (not identified as such, I just know because I’m a nerd) inside a time vortex. Flash explains some important plot points for another movie, then disappears. Why is The Flash invading Batman’s dreams? Why did he travel baông chồng in time? He’s got khổng lồ juggle a lot of balls & he only has one butler to handle all of his affairs. He’s not a huge note-taker and doesn’t maintain an iCal. Things slip through the cracks. That’s why he sent The Flash baông xã in time in the first place, lượt thích a really elaborate Post-It note. Unfortunately, if Batman had never forgotten about his dream, he never would have sầu sent baông xã The Flash to lớn remind hlặng about the dream, which creates a major paradox, which I don’t want to get inkhổng lồ right now.

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I haven’t even mentioned Wonder Woman, AKA Diana Prince, warrior princess of Themyscira. Wonder Woman periodically shows up at parties to lớn annoy Bruce Wayne. She steals some computer files from Lex Luthor during a fundraiser for a library or something. Then, Bruce and Diamãng cầu meet at a totally different tiệc ngọt where they stare at a dagger in a glass case. You may have sầu wondered whose buổi tiệc nhỏ that was, why either of the characters were at that các buổi tiệc nhỏ, và what the point of the knife in the box was. Look, cool people get invited to parties all the time that you don’t know about. You should be used to this by now. Stop asking. It makes you look desperate.

Bruce Wayne opens up Lex Luthor’s computer files and discovers a photo of Wonder Woman from the first world war, plus some trailers for other Warner Bros movies. Luthor even designed logos for all of these movies in Adobe Illustrator. Why does Lex Luthor have sầu four blatant bits of product placement on his computer? Because he’s been maintaining a secret double life as a film publicist. You thought running a multinational corporation while trying khổng lồ murder an indestructible flying alien was hard? Try selling the Aquaman movie.

Bachồng to lớn Superman, he’s quite depressed over the mixed reaction to his theatrical heroics, và I don’t mean the review for Man of Steel either. Some worship hyên for his daring deeds, while others are terrified of the unchecked power he wields. Using that divided public opinion against hyên, Lex Luthor attempts to lớn frame Superman for a variety of very un-Superman activities – shooting up a village, neglecting khổng lồ stop a suicide bomber, và drinking red wine with seafood. Of course, Superman would bởi vì none of these things, but that doesn’t stop the public from turning on hlặng, playing directly inkhổng lồ Luthor’s hands.

Dejected, Superman flies off to Buffalo, New York, or some other desolate, snow-covered landscape. There, we are treated to lớn yet another dream sequence. This time, Clark Kent imagines seeing his father throwing bricks on khổng lồ a pile of other bricks while telling a story about inadvertently ruining the lives of his neighbors during a flood. At this point, you may have sầu asked yourself why Superman flew out to this barren wastelvà. You may have sầu also asked what that pile of rocks was? Maybe you thought it was the place where Clark Kent’s dad is buried, but I’m fairly certain it’s been established that he was buried on the Kent farm. So why the hell is Superman having visions of his dead dad in the middle of nowhere? As with everything, there is a simple answer. Nothing reminds me more of Kevin Costner’s acting than a pile of rocks, bricks and twigs in the snow. So, it’s natural that when one sees a pile of inanimate objects, one would pause to consider Kevin Costner. This movie makes perfect sense.

Gal Gadot as Wonder Woman in Batman v Superman: Dawn Of Justice. Photograph: APConsidering the title of the film, Batman & Superman fight toward the end of the story. It’s as brutal and ruthless as it is boring, with the fisticuffs coming to an abrupt end when Batman realizes that his mom and Superman’s mom have sầu the same first name. If only Biggie and Tupac’s moms had the same first name. They might still be here today.

Lex Luthor’s quái nhân, Doomsday, is unleashed and Batman, Superman và Wonder Woman join forces to defeat him. Why did Lex Luthor create a quái vật he couldn’t control when he easily could have just shot Superman with a kryptonite rocket 30 minutes inlớn the movie? Why did he waste all of that time convincing Batman and Superman to lớn fight if he was just going lớn create Doomsday? What if Batman killed Superman? Would Lex Luthor still have a need for a rampaging, uncontrollable beast?

At the kết thúc of the film, Superman sacrifices himself to defeat Doomsday, leaving Batman và Wonder Woman to lớn khung the Justice League in his absence. Lex Luthor has gone crazy (because he is a malfunctioning android) and has had his head shaved because long hair is strictly forbidden in solitary confinement, as everyone knows. He could have sầu hidden a knife or a grenade in that moptop. Batman mourns his frikết thúc, who he had been pals with for a grand total of a couple hours & had previously been single-mindedly obsessed with murdering. Why was Batman so broken up about the death of a man he had spent two years despising? Because, as a great man (me) once said (right now, for the first time), the greakiểm tra friendships are the ones that burn out the quickest. If you learn anything from this movie, it should be that. If I were Warner Bros, I’d be throwing that brilliant aphorism on a T-shirt right now.

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